I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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