Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
