Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
