You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
