He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
