Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
