Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
