he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize