you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
