I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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