i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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