I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
