South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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