I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
