I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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