Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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