why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
