i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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