so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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