I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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