she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
