i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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