sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize