Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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