I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
