He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
