69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
