I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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