do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
