don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
