I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
