just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
