is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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