I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
