I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
