We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
