We're like a lot better than the average bears
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
