its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
