Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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