check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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