I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize