Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think i have two assholes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
