Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
