I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
