How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
two words...techno handjob
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I will be naked everywhere
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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