Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
