another moral hangover. fuck.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
