the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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