good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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