Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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