just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
