Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
