Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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