I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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