Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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