You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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